The Maiden Post - Let's crash and burn together!

Here's the skinny, baby-cakes.

     So calling this blog a series of 'reviews' isn't exactly accurate since we all know that everything talked about here is going to be total seagull crap. A sticky white liquid with no mass or substance that the bird itself cares so little about that it doesn't even stop flying to deliver it to your windshield. It's not like when you go to the multiplex and check out the latest Wayan's Bros. flick or something and you say to your fifteen year old secret girlfriend, "I don't care what you thought, Becky. I thought that was total dog dirt." 

     No. This is worse than dog dirt. The things we'll be looking at on this blog are the worst kind of animal dirt. At least a dog sniffs around a while and does a few laps around the back lawn or living room floor before delivering it's own smelly hunk of justice. At least it appears to be trying. Seagulls are so oblivious to what's cool or hip or even just plain good that they cruise by without a care in the world thinking they're 'all that' just cause they've been given the opportunity to fly. Bastards. But after a few dozen freedom fries, (topical) and losing a leg somehow we know what's what with them. We know.

     When I read a movie review in a paper or on the interweb it's all about finding out whether or not I should waste my mom or girlfriend's (whomever is there at the time) hard-earned cash going to see it or not. Well with this blog it's pretty much a guarantee that nothing reviewed will be worth leaving a decent porn site to waste time on. We're all just going to have a dandy of a time together poking fun at the worst of the worst. Cause isn't that what the internet is really all about? Besides pornography and tweeting? 

Oh right, follow me on Twitter you nerds! (Cause EVERYONE is doing it!) 

http://twitter.com/JeffPWilliams