Tuesday, January 12, 2010

11AM - The Stats:

Here we go! 
3 hours
Medium Setting
2 training sets
3 real sets
50 stars
0 girlfriend
1/2 a bag of noodles
2 broken eyes.

     And to think my parents told me I'd never amount to anything. Well it's a weekday and while they're toiling at work I'm diving hard into video games and practically swimming in penne and hot sauce. It's the public pool of awesome, (but this time a chubby kid hasn't broken the diving board). 

     But for reals my eyes aren't bugging out that much. Besides I'm planning on getting the lazer eye hooey done in the next year so I'm not worried. Might as well mess the old girls up before I get them replaced, right? They can just replace them with like, baboon eyes or the eyes of a convict right? It's 2010 we've hit Minority Report tech right? Why do all the Gap ads at the mall yell at me whenever I walk by them? I need to stop drinking shampoo so much and get me some new criminal eyes! Then I'll see all of his horrible past deeds. Or I get the monkey eyes and I'll be dreaming in Planet Earth episodes which would be just as awesome. Too bad in my dreams I see both ... crimes against nature. (Cock-fighting, Bears wearing dresses and balancing on giant rubber balls, The poor bald children of Cuba who have to supply Donald Trump with his hair .... It gives me a shutter just thinking about it.

Time to drown out my demons with funk! Back to DJ Hero!
... maybe I'll drown them with a little more Pert Plus. Just a little.

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